Hypocrisy
One of the things I've surprisingly come across in the "Unblack" scene is a certain amount of hypocrisy. Bizarrely enough, this comes from the periphery or from a few of the people I've received messages from eager to tell me about their religious beliefs. I'm fine with hearing peoples' thoughts on religion, as it's something I've studied my entire life and have a personal library of over 1,000 books on the subject overall. .
These books range from Buddhism to Hinduism, from Biblical Satanism to Judaism, Orthodox Christianity to the most wild stretches of Evangelism... My point is, I ended up where I ended up in terms of a belief structure. One thing I really try not to do is force it on anyone or use it as a goalpost to determine whether or not someone is a good person.
I've also been reading a lot recently, in discussions, in books, about how someone can be a good person and be totally against Christianity. This is true. You may not like it, but being a Christian is not a prerequisite to being a good person. I know plenty of Christians that are cranky, unpleasant curmudgeons who are more than willing to get in others' faces and tell them about how they're going to hell. Good people, right? Although my belief system does not allow someone to get into heaven based on being a good person, I do believe that good people exist that don't necessary subscribe to the same belief system. Simply put, my moral and ethical standards were developed in a primordial way before I became a Christian, and that was a long time ago.
There is a kind of cognitive dissonance that exists here, because I try very hard to analyze my actions and statements in relation to my worldview. As I've said before, I fail all the time. Knowing that I'm guilty of this hypocrisy is one of my primary long-term sins that I'm trying to work through, amongst others. I share this because I think it might help someone, or it might help people understand why I'm always up front about Rejoice In Our Suffering being a personal outlet to express the resulting depression from my struggle with this and not a ministry. It sounds corny to say I allow Christ to guide where this project goes or what I express within its boundaries, but that's the closest way I can describe it.
That's not to say that my own hypocrisy, that exists despite my consistent attempts to overcome it, is the only source of my problems with depression and anxiety, but it's definitely a contributing factor. All I can do is admit to these issues when they come up in communications from fans or people who simply ask me questions about the project. I don't want to create the illusion or delude myself into believing I'm a perfect Christian, or even a pretty good Christian. I'm not.
There is nothing about my religious beliefs that make me a better person, a more informed person, a smarter person, none of that. I'd like other people to share my beliefs, and I won't deny my religious affiliations, defending things as I'm able when it's a requirement, but I don't feel the need to force anyone to believe the same things. I'm not so confident in my own work as a Christian that I feel like I can go around criticizing everyone else's lifestyle or beliefs. I only try to live up to what I think I need to, personally.
Legalism
I don't enjoy the imposition of rules by other people on my own behavior, choosing instead to analyze my thoughts and actions and do my best not to let it infringe or influence how I feel about others. Every single church I've ever been a part of has become, at some point and at some level, legalistic to an obvious degree.
It bothers me, and I usually keep my mouth shut about it. At what point does a problem become large enough to say something or leave a church? Usually, it's when someone gets in my face about something completely stupid. Christians should be honest with other Christians, as nicely as possible. Sometimes people don't pick up on hints.
To share a particularly stupid example of this, when I was about 12 or 13 I was a big fan of the band MxPx (I'm still a fan, say what you want, don't care.) A friend of mine and I were at a church and wrote the words, "Elvis is Dead" and drew an MxPx logo on a chalkboard. This caused a minor scandal with the pastor of the church (who was a family friend at the time) and a bunch of phone calls got made to my grandparents, mother, etc. This was made out to be a huge deal and I may have been hit with a wooden spoon or something for it, I can't remember exactly.
At the time, I thought their reaction was stupid. Now that I'm an adult, of the same relative age these people were when that happened, I think their reaction was a complete and totally stupid overreach and that these adults were absolutely stupid in their overreaction, to paint a kid as having committed an evil act for writing the name of a song on a chalkboard. What a completely stupid group of adults that got together to decide on some appropriate level of, "discipline," for something that incredibly small and insignificant. And they wonder why no one goes to church.
My point is, I don't see how what I did at that time was wrong. I didn't see it then and I don't see it now, all I can see now is a bunch of adults getting together to bully a kid and make up rules for what constitutes bad behavior when none was present. A few years later, this same church decided to disallow a child from attending Sunday school because he made a comment about his parents being divorced. This was long after I left. My parents are divorced. I'm aware of how much God hates divorce, but maybe these church leaders should not be complete morons in how they deal with kids and young people. Should I not be saying these things?
I wonder how those people would feel if they read this. It took me a long time to realize these people have no business teaching the youth and certainly not guiding adults. It requires a level of subjugation and submission on the part of other adults to allow those who have simply decided they're on a higher moral level than you run their lives.
Another story is a church that decided if you didn't tithe enough, or show up enough, that you weren't as saved or spiritually mature as others in that church.
I'll leave it as short as that. Idiocy. Complete idiocy. Legalistic, hypocritical words that should be analyzed before they're delivered. Thank God I'm not a part of that church anymore. I love the church I'm a part of now, I couldn't ask for a more sincere, loving group of people to align myself with spiritually. But just because my experience is exceptional in this regard - to me - doesn't mean it can't be awful for someone else. No one treats everyone else consistently.
This is just a couple of examples, I could dig up many examples in the past few decades of my own involvement in the Christian church system. Thus far, I've remained, overall, unimpressed. I don't expect any organization or person to be perfect, but maybe we ought to consider whether or not any of our own work is above criticism in relation to what we're doing in the name of Christ. Sincerity of belief is most important, but there are some people who have no business guiding others. Flat out. Just because you carry the title of pastor doesn't mean you're a good one, or that you actually teach. I've experienced more confusion than satisfaction from those in this position. Of all of them, I can count on one hand the number who have been completely sincere and up front about their own failures. I love them to an indescribable degree and will hold onto them for the rest of my life as dear friends that could call on me for anything, and if it's within my ability, I'll be there.
Hard Preaching
Maybe it's the hardcore West Virginia living (though I'd be called "city" by the vast majority of those in residence) that's been drilled into my head for a few decades, but I enjoy a good hard preacher. Sometimes. There's a certain theatrical element to the fire and brimstone, loud, truthful but terrifying delivery of Biblical hell and warning upon a congregation that can and will ignite something inside of a believer or those moved by these interpretations.
But I don't think it's going to reach man young people. Many times I've witnessed this sort of preaching, it's clearly insincere or simply theatrics, and other times it's been an extreme expression of personal fire within the deliverer. In any case, it can lead to an atmosphere where Baptism in the Holy Ghost, (or spirit, or whatever you call it, don't make up rules!) can become present. If you've never felt the presence of Christ in a room, I have to recommend it.
It's gloriously terrifying.
But this is an experience that likely won't be experienced by others very much anymore, as the bridegroom of Christ has spent the last 100 years or so getting in everyone's face and simply telling them they're a bad person that's going to Hell unless they shut up and fall in line. And follow, "Christ." - But what they really mean is that you have to follow them, or else Christ won't love you.
Again, this entirely stupid overreach should be called out and stopped within our churches immediately. Insincere fools.
Again, not all hard preaching is bad, and I enjoy it for what it is when it's sincere, but I can say with absolute confidence that you are not going to bring any young person to Christ with it in this age. You have to start with empathy and close your loud mouth and listen to what they're dealing with and what they have to say, then share your thoughts with them as you see it. There used to be this idea that kids weren't human, or that young people were less human than people who have reached an advanced age. I do believe that wisdom comes with age, but intelligence doesn't. Listen first, or your hard preaching is going into a quiet grave where no one will ever hear it. You might as well be screaming into a toilet.
You must embrace people for who and what they are at the time they come to you. The age we live in is suffering a lot of pain, tons of it caused by the church itself, that needs to be acknowledged and dealt with before we can reach anyone with the good news. The only thing we can hope for is that the lost don't hurt themselves or others before they can be reached. To be a hippie about it: Start with love, not punishment. You can tell someone you love them all you want, if you continually punch them in the face, they're not going to hear it.
The State of the Church
It's bad. Fix it. Stop comparing your church to all the other ones, putting yourself on a pedestal above them, and instead fellowship like you're supposed to and find common ground. Stop screaming at young people that they're going to hell unless they fall in line, stop banning people from your church because they lead a lifestyle you don't like, and stop pretending you're a better person than others who walk into your church. In fact, stop pretending it's your church and consider what you should be doing within its walls and why you're there in the first place. Be honest!
No one makes it to Christ via non-stop criticism, punishment, and the exclusivity of love. You are wrong and you know it. Resign your position and find Christ before you continue. But, most of all, shut up and stop telling others things that are not scriptural!!!
