My material doesn't get a ton of listens or views, but it does get some, and it's very clear that people are watching and listening. This is evidenced by the fact that I actually get emails from people who check my stuff out, or the project gets picked up by blogs or posted about in places that I find out about later, etc...
The reaction has been phenomenal, and I can't take credit for any of it. It's almost a direct confirmation from God that what I'm doing with the project is the right thing. I've met more people, collaborated with more musicians, and spoken deeply about Christianity with more people in the past few months of really pushing this project than I have in my entire life, and I'm pushing 40 and have more or less regularly attended various churches for the better part of 4 decades.
Naturally, as people have contacted me, they've asked me about my personal religious affiliations and background. Though I'm totally open about being a Christian, I did think that there might also need to be some clarification about what Rejoice In Our Suffering is to me.
To be specific, I would describe myself as Pentecostal... I think a very controversial Pentecostal, and definitely a controversial Christian as conversations get deeper and more in depth with others who probe the subject, but Pentecostal Christian most closely aligns with my beliefs. I was raised in non-denominational and Baptist churches until I became old enough to make my own decisions and take myself places where I might want to go. This led me to study any and all religions that I could. I ended up back at Christianity, but the story is long and the list of books I've read, services I've attended, religious leaders I've discussed things with, everything is much longer. When it comes down to it the following are what I can say for certain aligns with my belief system:
- Jesus Christ is God.
- Satan is real.
- Demons are real.
- Demonic possession is real.
- Demonic activity is real.
- Demonic oppression and manipulation are very real and often are very subtle.
- The only treatment and cure for anything demonic is the intercession of the Godhead.
- The Godhead may intervene even for those that are not Christians, and often does.
- The Spiritual Gifts are alive, well, and are not salvation or repentance contingent. God chooses when they are active and being used, and by whom. It's not possible to practice them, only to pray for them and desire that God work through us. No magic.
- The Bible is open to interpretation, I am absolutely not a fundamentalist.
- Jesus Christ fulfilled The Ten Commandments, but they are important guidelines to keep our lives in order.
- A direct experience with the Godhead is 100% possible.
- If you learn to pay attention, God communicates with us directly and indirectly in tangible ways.
- Prayer is the single most important thing you should be doing on a constant basis.
Those are the bare basics. I'm not saying that everyone has to believe these exact things, I'm saying that from what I've experienced in life and studied the most, these things form the central core of my reasoning for belief.
I notice a lot of bands calling what they do a Ministry, and that's fine. I want to be clear that this is, absolutely, a Christian project. It does exist to glorify God, and it exists as a vehicle to meditate and explore on readings from the Bible that I undertake. However, I decline to describe it as a Ministry. For one thing, I don't even publish the lyrics, but I can say that they're not very articulate and they're highly personal. In fact, in a lot of cases, I would describe them as primordial, blunt screaming. Primitive. Given that I'm loquacious to a fault, the lyrics written for the project are how I can just get it out. Fast, simple, repetitive, almost a meditation-inducing repetition. I'm very focused on what I'm expressing when I record. I'd like to think that's why I've received good feedback on the project so far.
Because of that thought, that I may somehow take credit for the messages being conveyed, it would be dishonest to say that it's a completely selfless expression with the intent of expanding God's Holy Kingdom. That would be an extremely nice blessing, a great side effect of what I'm doing, but it's really a personal expression. It's catharsis, dealing with my own depression and anxiety and getting it out to let hope and God in. Making room in my heart by getting the negative out, almost a recorded prayer for God to remove personal hardships and blocks to my growth toward Spiritual maturity. I hope it helps someone, but it would only be an offshoot of helping me deal with life and negative emotions.
It would be a great feeling if something I'm doing is directing people to worship God, and I would certainly talk to anyone about this sort of thing if they approached me about it, with the up-front clarification that I am by no means the most qualified person they could speak to on the subject. There are certainly things I could reference and would do my absolute best to answer any question posed in a Biblically correct way, as proper exegesis and hermeneutics are of paramount importance to me, but I will always suggest that someone speak to a Pastor or someone that's been endorsed by a certifying body to answer their questions. An example of me attempting to answer someone Biblically, I recall, involved me quoting Galatians. Apparently, I had the meaning of a passage wrong and it was explained how I had it wrong later. I am always happy to accept correction and redirection, because we're all constantly growing... The way I was corrected, however, was not pleasant. It wasn't compassionate or empathetic, and when I was providing the information to the other person (albeit incorrectly) compassion and empathy were at the forefront of my intent. The way I was corrected was by someone more qualified accusing me of twisting the meaning of a Biblical passage on purpose. I wouldn't do that. This person had no reason to think I would, but they made it a point to get very loud and very unpleasant about it anyway. Who does that help? It could only feed the ego of the corrector and serve to embarrass and humiliate. Humility is important to have an an individual, humiliating others is cruel and a detriment to spiritual growth.
Before I get too off topic here, I'm saying that the way I was corrected could very easily push a very new Christian completely off the path toward Christ. Not only did it serve as a warning to me to make sure I'm practicing proper exegesis and hermeneutics, it should (but didn't) serve as a warning to those in a position to correct that there is a completely incorrect way of addressing issues.
If there's one thing I'm absolutely sure of, it's that I can be wrong. Really wrong. Entirely wrong. And given how long it took me to get my life in order as an adult, I am hesitant to feed advice to young people that's universal - I can only provide a patient ear to listen and empathy from my own experience, as well as extend compassion because I believe it's what we're supposed to do as Christians.
I am tortured by my own sins on a daily basis. I do everything I can to minimize and live without sin, but I consistently and spectacularly fail all the time.
That's why Rejoice In Our Suffering is a personal expression of pain. I'm trying to help myself, which I have to do before I can help anyone else with anything. So, while I'm happy to listen to anyone that may need help, and I can recommend Biblical passages and writers who I like that have helped me through things, I am a nobody. Completely unimportant. That is why Rejoice In Our Suffering is not a Ministry.
But if it helps someone, anyone, at any time...then I've done more than I ever hoped to do with it, and I've done what I'm supposed to do as a Christian and a human being.
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