Monday, June 2, 2025

Doubt (From Church Sickness)

 As such, I am an imposter! 

My painful lungs attenuate

acrid, bitter smoke.


Successfully marketed relief.


Myrrh carresses focus

and irritation during

silent scrutiny. 


I impotently raise my arms,

fingers spread like antennas

toward an infinite heaven

behind the veil of illusion. 


Trust God, not senses, 

not the voices of the 

self annointed holy men. 


They tell me hell awaits. 


I know it does, 

I've been chased to

its gates by hooved 

and clawed creatures.


In visions recurring,

during periods of

my spiritual paralysis,

there I am crippled

and blind to the spirit.


Where faith becomes

all that is left to hold

and I drown until

I receive his

comforting transmissions.


I receive blessings

in spite of my

wavering confidence

in the Lord's existence.

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