There will be one more completely dark ambient release for R.I.O.S., then I won't be making anymore strictly dark ambient/dungeon synth releases for the project. The last dark ambient album for the project will be Seasons. The genre will always have a part in the music I make for Rejoice In Our Suffering, but I think it will belong better suited to a side project.
People have complained. Which is normal. I understand, they're looking for black metal from this project and when they spend 10 minutes listening to something that's adjacent but not within that genre, some get upset. So, I'll capitulate to popular opinion on this matter.
Fruits Of The Spirit will likely be a one-album project. I love the pure dungeon synth genre and I'm super happy with the material I've been working on for the full length album. I thought I would include the tracks on the Patience & Faithfulness single on there, but they don't fit very well. Those will remain on their own as a non-album single.
The New Black Metal Album will likely be cut down to a regular full length, I really haven't decided yet. 44 minutes is the max amount of time I can fit onto an LP, per every pressing plant I've investigated, and I really want to have it on wax and tape. As much as I would love to cram all my new material on there and have a double or even triple album, the cost of getting physical media for it would just be too prohibitive and not enough people care about this project to push preorders in any meaningful way to fund it. Also, any label interest I've had so far is only interested in doing Pro-CDRs and I can do those myself, but I do appreciate the interest.
Other material:
I have a bunch of industrial material that's further away from black metal than what will be on my half of the upcoming split with Blackhouse, my split with Nightmare I Am, or the industrial material from Whom He May Devour. I do not know what to do with it, but at the risk of the project falling out of favor with more people since I release too much music already, I think I'll find something else to do with it.
The Calming Storm:
The past month has seen a sharp decline in listeners and communication from fans or organizations. That's okay, I didn't start this project to prop up my ego, so I'm a little surprised that I'm disappointed about it. I've always maintained that it's cathartic for me and it remains so, there's not a lot of reasons for people to stick around and pay attention when the part of the project that speaks to them has run its course and they've gotten tired of listening to it.
I think part of the reason for this is that I expected more of a reaction to the split with Alaretin and Oak Of Weeping. I have a tendency to do this for all the split releases... My primary concern is not to bring down the overall quality of a release in relation to the other artists. I hold them in extremely high esteem. So, I think even though it's not due, when something doesn't quite perform the way I expect it to I figure I'm disappointing the other people involved or providing some sort of sub-par service to that release. Any artist I've wanted to do a split with is specifically because I respect and enjoy their art on a deep primordial level, and I consider them friends. So my excitement might become a little infectious.
And last, but not least, certainly... I have been embracing the more supernatural side of Christianity, which may seem a little redundant since I identify as Pentecostal in terms of denomination. Oddly enough, I don't fit in with most Pentecostals. I don't fit in with the Holiness movement, I don't fit in with the Oneness movement... I believe in direct experiences with God, callings, visions, etc. Certainly, I have always tried to tamp down the idea of dreams or visions in which it seems like God has been giving me messages, or denying any sort of connection to an unseen realm. The simple fact of the matter is that when I've tried to dismiss the idea of a connection of this sort, things happen more, and people give me this feedback directly - I don't have to fully believe it, others place it on my shoulders. Since around the beginning of working on material for this project, I have decided to feel the weight instead of shrugging it off. To explore it, to dig my fingers in.
I'm not trying to make myself sound important by talking about this, it's more of an acceptance of a calling of some sort that I still don't have a lot of clarity on. I do not feel called to pastoring. I don't feel called to the missions field abroad. I do not feel that I'm so beyond reproach as to be a mason in the construction of God's kingdom, so being able to figure out what the nature of this calling is has been frustrating while simultaneously being endlessly interesting.
And blessings have been non-stop, just as the spiritual warfare has been intense and unceasing. I'm far too inflexible (out of shape, fat) of a man to have my forehead pressed against a tile floor crying during prayer, but it happens more than I'm willing to talk about out loud. Meditational prayer is intense. Yet these sort of experiences never happen in a church setting. I've watched it happen to other people, I've heard others speak in tongues, and I may be used for interpretation by God, at times receiving very clear meanings (messages) to tongues. And if not a direct interpretation, always knowing, immediately and obviously, if someone is sincere in their utterance or if they're making it up. This is a bizarre experience to an absolute extreme, and I understand why anyone would doubt the sincerity of anyone involved, but I simply can't ignore what is plainly shown to me.
I am also a stickler for being able to back any of it up by scripture. I cannot (and no one should) rely on my own feelings for the reliability of these matters. My biggest concern is getting it wrong, or having my ego become involved in a way that might hurt or misguide someone. There is a deep and extreme fear of leading someone incorrectly or being dishonest, whether intentionally or unintentionally. This is present to the extent that I find myself analyzing, re-analyzing, denying, or outright rejecting what I think I can trace back to an independent thought or emotional reaction happening within myself.
Is this deep? I don't think so. Am I being used by the Lord, or am I just entirely nuts? Both could look similar, and it worries me that both things could be true, or both things could be false. The response to prayers on the subject hasn't been silent, but it's been the equivalent of a, "What do you think?"
I do not know. So, if you have any ideas, if you have scripture in mind that might help me with this, feel free to communicate it with me, I am open minded and quite open to the thoughts of others on this. I do not ever want to be so full of my own confidence in these matters that I become closed off to the compassionate discernment of other Christians. We should be a priority to each other, and we should all be accountable to each other, as well.
It is bizarre to be eating at a restaurant, or simply walking down the street near a concert venue in a major city or something similar, and have people stop and ask if I'm a pastor, or a monk, or something of that nature. It's a vibe I give off. This may sound stupid, but my wife can absolutely attest to this happening with alarming regularity. I never quite know how to respond.
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